@TheHyyyype: Apparently when your wife says "let's make a baby," she doesn't mean assemble an infant from clay and chant The Old Words inside a pentagram
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@camelSWAG69: "You may now kiss the bride" Wow this is the happiest day of- *dad flies by in hot air ballon* QUEEERR *throws football at my head*
@oria2326: I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy
@Dawn_M_: This generation has discovered the selfie stick. My generation discovered AIDS. Don't know what's worse.