@Muath_tu: Apparently you can't get a sick leave just because you're sick of seeing everyone at the office.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Me: How long have we had that pillow? Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days
@FrenulumBreve: [Safari hunt] (Ok don't tell them I'm an elephant) *Adjusts hat and shades* "Elephant?. Yes that way." *Points with trunk*
@thatUPSdude: [first date] Me: You into role playing? Her: Kinky, what do you have in mind? Me: You fake a heart attack and we get our meal for free.
@sarcasticmommy4: "I'M COLD!" yells the teen who is wearing shorts & a tshirt in 40 degree weather & ignored his mother when she said to dress warmer.