@Muath_tu: Apparently you can't get a sick leave just because you're sick of seeing everyone at the office.
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@flashember: [Alligator feeding at the zoo] Me: Hey let me do it Keeper: 1st time? M: Heck no *alligator takes me by the arm* I WAS JUST BRAGGING SAVE ME
@CoreyKeyz: You got 30 minutes to text me back or I'm breaking into your house & responding to myself.
@Dmvm1977: OMG! My boss has choked on his sandwich and stopped breathing!! Should I call an ambulance? Its been 16hrs.. I didn't wanna make a fuss.