@Crunk_Jews: Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap.
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@Bexdora: "Let's see what you're made of!" he says on approach, knife in hand. "Good." I mutter. "Another adversary who paid no attention in Biology."
@ilovepie84: Whenever I test drive a car and the Salesman decides to come along, I lock the doors lock eyes and say "We ride together, we Die together."
@SteveSackington: My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund.
@Matt_The_1st: This is an emergency! *Begs to borrow strangers phone *starts scrolling through pics