@Crunk_Jews: Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap.
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@vineyille: [screaming over sirens] I SAID ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT "FIGHTING" THE FIRE YOU'RE WATERING IT
@theshrillest: lol these ppl "don't see race" right up until you start making beloved fictional characters black, then they're 18th century anthropologists
@Mr_Kapowski: "The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house
@david8hughes: All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles.