@SoNotBrendan: Apple and Puma have developed smart track pants, they're called iPumaPants.
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@PinkCamoTO: *looks at calendar* *looks at stomach* *looks at calendar* Guess I'm telling people I'm pregnant again this summer.
@DanMentos: [teaching my 3yo the alphabet] "Ok what's a word that starts with Q" cucumber "That's uh… I don't… let's pick this up again tomorrow"
@ch000ch: hoarder on TV: pls help me doc therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we'll take them to my car