@SoNotBrendan: Apple and Puma have developed smart track pants, they're called iPumaPants.
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@WilliamRodgers: How to become a Saint 1: Become Catholic 2: Live an exemplary and pious life 3: Perform at least two miracles Or...Just Be Kanye's baby
@Ameiam: People are always like "you're so crazy" and I'm all like "please take off the restraints, I promise I won't do it again".
@robfee: Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.