@GaryJanetti: Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there.
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@mattingebretson: I love how binge watching a tv show is now portrayed as a fun activity instead of an expression of deep emotional turmoil and depression
@Iwriteforcats: Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring? Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone. Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.