@haveigotnews: Apple launches new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album.
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@fantasesay: Beyoncé: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyoncé: Coachella.
@FlyJ_: Florist: "Would you like your flowers wrapped?" Me: "Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."