@Rollinintheseat: Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
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@Tmoney68: I've seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
@RocketRankoon: I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie.
@NicestHippo: ME: Lord, what have I done to deserve this GOD: *unfurls a scroll that keeps going for miles* Well
@justabloodygame: A cemetery foreman discovers that his employees cremated a body he explicitly told them to bury. "You've made a grave mistake!" He fumes.