@Rollinintheseat: Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
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@realHamOnWry: I tried S/M once, and ended up with a dominatrix who was unusually cruel. Instead of using a whip she would make me do fractions in my head.
@torrami: Never let them see how much they hurt you. Or the gun. Definitely don't let them see the gun.
@ieatanddrink: My neighbor put up like $3,000 worth of Christmas lights but I showed him by putting out a nativity scene with like 20 baby Jesuses