@Zombieionism: Apples greatest success is convincing the world they need a new phone, to replace the one you aren't making phone calls on, every year.
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@shatterpants: I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.
@angibangie: The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend's parent's house and the toilet water was rising... -My best pickup line
@lazerdoov: Pretty lame how horses and dogs don't capitalize on their ability to wear 2 pairs of jean shorts at once