@SlabBaconBP: Aquafina is Spanish for "tap water in a plastic bottle"
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@LostCatDog: If you want to relate to how old people probably feel just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and everybody else acted like that was fine.
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: Hi hun. Atilla: [under breath] I told you not to call me that in front of the men. It might stick.
@dmc1138: When I see a piece of gum in the urinal, I think of how painful that piss must've been for that guy.
@preciousadidas: Biden: So here's the plan, I'll tackle him and you go in for the knockout Obama: Joe please. Biden: too far? Okay what about- Obama