@BruppFWTX: Are "authorities" ever not " baffled?"
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@KyleMcDowell86: *I reach for the thermostat* *my dad runs in barking* *neighbor's dad starts barking* *within seconds all the neighborhood dads are barking*
@ClichedOut: Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Incredible Hulk: Int: Hulk: Is that a trick question?
@Scott_A_Gilmore: I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off.
@hipchkk: Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone.