@BruppFWTX: Are "authorities" ever not " baffled?"
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@Sassafrantz: [male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?
@Kennycruzin: When one squirrel says "I like to eat nuts", there is probably always another squirrel who says "that's what she said."
@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter