@NYC_Blonde: Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?
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@crylenol: Hansel: how are we gonna get home Gretel: we should leave some sort of trail Duck: [pitching voice] how about a trail of bread crumbs
@AnOrangeSNES: [Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist] Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like? Me: Not anymore I can't
@mrtruthandsoul: Reporter: How do you feel that your proposal was turned down by Congress? Obama: Well, I've alw-- Biden: [grabs mic] TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?
@thomaswhitehead: London is like the best era of Batman at the moment. Well-orchestrated mild commuter panic and Prince stalking the streets.