@lovemydogduck: Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
@pixelatedboat: COMMENCE ANNIHILATI... Sorry, wrong notes, that's tomorrow's speech. Here's the right one: You have nothing to fear from Project Omega ...
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Satan: And this is the TV room. Me: This isn't so bad. *turns on TV* *only thing showing is golf*