@lovemydogduck: Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car.
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@wickedsuga: I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school.
@kumailn: He-Man wasn't gay. He was just uninterested in Teela and was very good friends with a man named Fisto.
@doublewenis: *seductively feeding you chicken wings while you hit on a hot chick "I'm sorry, I really don't know what a wingman is supposed to do."
@RobotSkeleton69: It was only after I started dancing in the food court - alone - that I learned flash mobs are planned...