@WilliamAder: Are iPads supposed to be red with two white knobs on the bottom?
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@MichaelGoffLA: Pot has never been proven harmful to humans, but the way it makes those huge holes in the street has to give you pause.
@FlyJ_: Florist: "Would you like your flowers wrapped?" Me: "Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."
@fro_vo: "hey mister can i pet your dog?" "sure kid" "what kind is he?" "that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"