@NYC_Blonde: Are people who write "prolly" rather than "probably" just lazy, completely illiterate, or do they actually think that's a word?
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@that1bish27: "I traded my carpet in for bare floors" --coworker. "Oh, me too. I love the shaved look.", said me. Apparently, she really meant carpet.
@kyle_thatisall: [walks in meeting late] "Sorry I was busy with important-" SIRI (from pocket): OK here's what I found on the web for are hot dogs sandwiches
@WAPratt: CLEVELAND: We want a championship. DEVIL: ok, but you'll have to host the Republicans. CLE: ...Fine. DEVIL: Trump's the guy. CLE: We want 2.