@Adam14: Are people with googly eyes better at searching for stuff?
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@themorris23: Ive always hated math because, in my head, all the word problems sounded like this: The spaghetti envelopes are triangular. Find X.
@ramblinma: Husband: "How do the kids keep getting sick?" Me: [picturing all the things the toddler licked last week] "No idea."
@djdarrellripley: Me: We need some ham. Her: I just bought a pound of ham yesterday. Me: Are you going to judge me, or are you going to buy some ham?