@Adam14: Are people with googly eyes better at searching for stuff?
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@murrman5: officer it's my son's car "just make it stop sir" I don't know how "can you call him" I'll try *tries to dial while car bounces up and down*
@Brentweets: So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything
@KalvinMacleod: CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe
@SamTR7: I just got an email offering "free bible verses". You know, because who can afford bible verses?