@nthonyswan: Are rhetorical questions really necessary?
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@RoosterMustache: DATE: *gets in car* ME: hi *starts driving* DATE: how's it going? ME: first, gas is sparked in the combustion chamber to push the pistons
@DirtMcTurd: How do I raise my kids? Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it?
@MrSandeepP: Apparently you're not supposed to tell "That's what she said jokes" during the Board meeting because it's "inappropriate"
@markleggett: Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.