@PimpBillClinton: Are Smurfs just a bunch of midget Avatars? #yeahimhigh
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@Loli_Sug: Me: k well my phones gonna die so I'll ttyl Mom: But ur office is a landline? Me: oh...so it is....K well the building is on fire, sooo ttyl
@weinerdog4life: Sorry I ate your frisbee bro, I thought it was a tortilla, I like to eat tortillas I find at the park.
@House_Feminist: Hey girl are you a new high efficiency dishwasher because you're so quiet it's hard to tell if you're turned on
@ericsshadow: [text] "Hey" Hi. "I'm just laying in bed thinking about you." This is your mom. "New phone who dis?" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me.