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@PimpBillClinton: Are Smurfs just a bunch of midget Avatars? #yeahimhigh
@fillthevacuum: *watches a house fall on you*
*steals your shoes*
@WilliamAder: I'm jealous of people who have more than one ab.
@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night
@amazymay72x: My 12yo son's protip:
Buy larger sized clothes and you'll look like you lost weight. You're welcome.