@yoyoha: Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law
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@robin_991: 6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.
@jordan_stratton: Whelp. It's December. That time of year when I have zero excuse for being so sweaty.
@PinkCamoTO: I used to have a desk with great selfie lighting and then I changed jobs for personal fulfilment. I wouldn't recommend it.
@GodfreyElfwick: Mark my words, the amount of candles I'm gonna burn tonight is going to make ISIS think long and hard before doing any more terrorism.