@superdadatron: Are there any rules for lending your kids out as migrant workers?
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@murrman5: [to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? "ugh I can't wait to go home" know who else wanted to go home
@LionJenkins: Rolls down car window. Throws caution to the wind. Spends an hour cleaning caution off the side of the car.
@MoistPork: "He's a jerk. I'm over him anyway. (5 minutes later) Ooh, he texted! I want to have his babies!" -Women
@dafloydsta: [getting mugged] ME: *leans in for a kiss* MUGGER: *slowly backs away* ME: haha this is so us