@superdadatron: Are there any rules for lending your kids out as migrant workers?
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@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
@truegritrumble: ME: I can’t believe he ruined my life. THERAPIST: Who? ME: *points at myself* This idiot.
@FaisalAdam_: Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique.
@thenatewolf: Me: goodnight kids Kids: goodnight dad Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT