@jtswhipped: "Are there drug dealers on Twitter?" Asking for 522 friends.
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@_NinJar: [Dr.] "Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* "Don't do it" *eats cheese* *dies*
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber
@EJGomez: if ur getting chased by a bunch of drunk 90's kids just yell out "in west Philadelphia born & raised" then u got like 2 min to run