@FattMernandez: Are there Jewish exorcisms? Where the demon comes out, and just tells you to call your mother?
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@VapingSonic: Cashier: sir the conveyor belt isn't meant for riding Me: I- I gotta know Cashier: know what? Me: *sighs* what I'm really worth. scan me
@JohnLyonTweets: My walk of shame is walking past the people I just said goodbye to because I went in the wrong direction and had to go back.