@thejessbess: Are they Milk Duds? Cuz I'm definitely not getting in your van for some stupid Milk Duds.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's crash headfirst into this guy going 80 mph's windshield.
@BriarSlyMadness: If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans... ...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you.
@jonmsutton: Sometimes I regret teaching my children an evidence-based approach to life #FathersDay
@Cheeseboy22: Remember, when you're driving in the snow, it's important to speed up and go as fast as you can so you don't get stuck.