@thejessbess: Are they Milk Duds? Cuz I'm definitely not getting in your van for some stupid Milk Duds.
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@missekay: *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *has to pee* *watches soccer* *gets up to pee* *misses goal* :/
@jake_lach: The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it's okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
@therepoguy: My dog really needs to learn how to drive a stick because what good is fetching one bottle of vodka.
@Dr_powpow: I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them.