@thejessbess: Are they Milk Duds? Cuz I'm definitely not getting in your van for some stupid Milk Duds.
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@chelliet22: I start conversations with my children by saying "Listen to me," to ensure they stop paying attention from the beginning.
@abbycohenwl: Doc: The good news is this is a surprise birthday party! Patient: But my birthday's not till next month Doc:Which brings me to the bad news
@phaggots: Bae: come over Me: can we ever have normal conversations Bae: my parents aren't home Me: why can't you just ask how good my day was for once
@roadkill3x: I thought I saw a coyote in the yard tonight but I couldn't tell because it didnt have an anvil.