@illuminatedwndr: are those your eyebrows, or did you headbutt a box of Sharpies
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@NikiWithIssues: Not enough drugs in the world that would make me strip in front of a webcam. But a bottle of wine should do it.
@mexinonblonde: *handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel.
@AlexvanBeek: I'm not saying it's been a while, but, the last time a girl got down on her knees for me, she showed me how to tie my shoelaces.
@ashleyaustrew: Me: I do f-ing everything around here! I'm sick of it! Family: *tries to help* Me: That's not...what are you...no...wrong...LET ME DO IT