@bigmacher: "Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: "how does my make-up look?"
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@Momtoteens: Dear Grocery Bagger, Please don't put dryer sheets and bread in the same bag. My kids don't like peanut butter & Spring Meadow sandwiches.
@trevso_electric: I got this "breathe" tattoo on my wrist because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
@GrowlyGrego: [spelling bee] Your word is "spider" Can you use it in a sentence? "A spider has eight eyes." [kid smiles] Spider. S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R
@girlontapas: Establish dominance by licking the spoon and then putting it back in the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner.