@bigmacher: "Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: "how does my make-up look?"
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@Playing_Dad: *5 puts on shoes* Me: they're on the wrong feet. 5: but I can't... Me: can't..? 5 I don't have any more feet to put them on. Me: touche
@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
@WhatevaConc: Make it awkward today by asking people what they did for Valentine's Day. When they answer "dinner", you should say "no...after that".
@iAmDelFreaky: Mom: Any big plans today? Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and... Mom: The mail doesn't come on Sundays. Me: Oh, then no. :'(