@pickupIines: are you a cat because i'm feline a connection between us
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@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Let's go outside & make love in the rain. Her: What if there's lightning? Me: Then you get to be on top...
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Things are going well. *knocks on wood* 5-year-old: Who's there? Me: It's not a knock knock joke. 5: It's not a knock knock joke who?