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@bazecraze: Are you a cat person or a person person?
@jewfacekilla: I'm my own boyfriend when it comes to farts
@preawsaurus: the racists in this town are so proud of their lack of pigmentation you'd think they had actually chose it themselves :)
@iwearaonesie: me *choking*
dog *grabs the sandwich I dropped and brings it to her bed*
@Hellaphantitis: Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel
@pleatedjeans: [stands in church]
Geese be with you
[hands neighbor a beautiful goose]
And also w/you
[he hands me a different yet equally beautiful goose]