@AllyBallyBeal: Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you'd better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sweetandweak: Daughter just told me, "Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches." One day her picture will be on money.
@jdbalani: Define Marriage: It's a way through which two people join together to solve the problems they never had before.
@Breadery: At my funeral I want the picture of me next to the coffin to have eyeholes cut out with someone behind it glaring at people coming in.
@AntozWolf: I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*