@AllyBallyBeal: Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you'd better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AlexvanBeek: It's 2035: By law, all burglar alarms are fitted with projectors so burglars are distracted by dancing Tupac holograms until police arrive.
@1Bad_Scientist: Neighbor: Help I have a plumbing emergency! Me: *grabs tools* Neighbor is naked and wet Me: um what kind of plumbing are we talking about?
@Ristolable: [First day of prison] "Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*