@shutupmikeginn: "Are you already hot as shit? Then you'll look hot as shit in our glasses" - Every glasses ad
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@tehaveragejoel: *bites nails* Sorry. Bad habit. I haven't been on a date in a while "I can see why" she says, pulling her fingers out of my mouth
@trojansauce: FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?
@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.