@CantWaitToNap: “Are you insane? Did you escape from a mental institution?” he flirted.
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@hazelmotes1: My wife is all, "we love each other so much we finish each other's sentences," until it comes to a prison sentence.
@IamJackBoot: Sometimes when I travel I toss a flashlight into my bag and when I open the bag later it's turned on. So no lightsaber for me thanks.
@momthoughts13: How amazing is it when all your kids do what you've asked the first time? No, I'm asking. How amazing is it? I'd like to know.
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird.