@pickupIines: are you my appendix because i don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
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@UNTRESOR: Date etiquette: The smaller fork is a salad fork. Use the larger fork to eat the salad fork.
@FABrezebabe: *does coke* *has unprotected sex* *smokes cigarettes* "oh haha no I don't drink soda because it's bad for you"
@david8hughes: [identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation