@pickupIines: are you my appendix because i don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@corysnearowski: In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed
@1_swarthy_dude: Boss:"I'll need those projections done Aesop!" Me:"You mean ASAP?" Boss:"No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."
@ItsAndyRyan: 4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby