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@gingerfaced: "Are you okay?"
Me anytime I meet someone named Annie.
@Loving_Life1996: We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive.
@dshack8: Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: This is the year I'm going to save money.
Also me: *googles, "how to purchase a baby elephant?"*
@MaraWritesStuff: Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like.
@QwertyJones3: "What are you doing tonight?"
Gonna smoke some Herb.
-guys who work in a crematorium