@novicefather: *writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds "resume" to resume

@TheDizzyBeauty: When I'm texting, I start typing faster when i see you're typing too. Oh, IT'S ON!! #amazingrace

@SaraMansford: Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting.

@Xoolun: I exercise religiously. Which means I go running dressed as the Pope.

@Phook75: If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.