@CheryeDavis: Are you on a Wanted Poster, because you are sketchy as hell...
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@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@beckyiniowa: My husband had to sign a form stating he understands his mother's cremation is nonreversible. I weep for our species.
@Cpin42: Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea.
@gerryhatric: My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I winked at her. She bought me eye drops.