@bouncerface: Are you serious? It's hard to tell because of all the botox.
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@UniqueDude2: [Meeting girlfriend's parents] Me: Well Mrs. Ashford, I can see where Elle gets her good looks! <Mr. Ashford sulks the rest of dinner>
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?
@DranoRaul: I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.