@sageboggs: "Are you sexually ac-" [my doctor looks up at me] [he marks no]
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@xLiserx: Me: 6 tacos, please. Him: This is an ice cream truck. Me: 6 tacos & a swirl cone. Him: We don't serve tacos. Me: Your taco truck is broken.
@QwertyJones3: This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!
@whatmaddness: If you want your friends to stop asking you to work out with them, go once. Show up in leather. Bring your workout cake.