@LetsQuoteComedy: "Are you talking back to me?" "Mom, that's how a conversation works."
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@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”
@samfromks: My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.
@GibJimson: Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed.