@LetsQuoteComedy: "Are you talking back to me?" "Mom, that's how a conversation works."
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@copymama: My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.
@envydatropic: I don't care what bathroom you identify with. If you look under the stall you're going to need a dentist.
@ieatanddrink: It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity