@LetsQuoteComedy: "Are you talking back to me?" "Mom, that's how a conversation works."
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@AndrewChamings: Break bad news to teens by talking on THEIR level. ME [spinning on chair in daughter’s room]: Yo, turns out grandma’s heart is weak af.
@PaperWash: Commissioner: we'll need to stay in touch Batman: ok Commissioner: this stealth communication device will- Batman: LETS USE A GIANT SKY LAMP
@canazn_73: Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women.