@vladchoc: Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
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@KalvinMacleod: [highschool reunion] CLASSMATE: I'm a top chef. You? ME: I'm an avoca C: a what M: an avoca C: what's an avoca do M: a top chef would know
@withanewname: [looking at pics] Where's that? -Hawaii Where's that? -Jamaica Daddy where was I? -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'?
@LionJenkins: Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: You're on your own, Idiot.