@vladchoc: Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
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@delusionaliam: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it'll eat for weeks!
@trevso_electric: Jennifer Aniston is always cast in the same role because she's a victim of Rachel profiling.
@AimeeHelene1: "And this is my creepy husband, John." (The way my friend should introduce her husband)
@bornmiserable: Guys who say there's a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties.