@shutupmikeginn: Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed Wikipedia was an unreliable source, suggesting instead that I listen to him, a drunk guy at a bar
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@RadioPatrick: My mama always said: "If you can't say anything nice, try to mumble it under your breath..."
@IamEnidColeslaw: you know who else had a "fun hat phase"? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy
@GuyThe_Guy: My pistol only holds 9 bullets, so when I lose my shit I only get to kill 9 people or one cat.
@rockymomax: ME: [wearing donuts as glasses] did u just call me immature WIFE: yes ME: [removes donuts & tries to clean with shirt] your moms immature