@shutupmikeginn: Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed Wikipedia was an unreliable source, suggesting instead that I listen to him, a drunk guy at a bar
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@Brampersandon_: Hey where's Brian? "Oh he's taking a p_ _p" A what? "Um dropping a d_ _c_" Huh? "Taking a sh_t....Uhh Cr_p!" Oh! He's evacuating his vowels?
@DamnitJosh: "Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss.
@vanderwangwe: Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school.
@Annoyedworld: I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that's why my tattoo is hot nurse. -LA Ink.