@Schmoodles: Arguing with religious people is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato.
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@QwertyJones3: "Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then.
@girlontapas: My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?
@upsheezy: "Walk it off" does not apply to everything. Stupidity, for example. You're not walking that shit off unless it's in to oncoming traffic
@zachv86: *speaks at high school graduation* Your 12 year free trial has expired. To continue your education please submit your credit card info.