@TheCatWhisprer: Ariana Grande is what happens if you feed a Bratz doll after midnight.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: Do you have any dreams? Him:...I'm running on a giant hamster wheel and a squirrel wearing a tuxedo comes... Me: ASPIRATIONS YOU IDIOT
@iwearaonesie: *power goes out* wife: Great, I just bought ice cream me [already eating it] I'm on it
@jake_lach: Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old