@TheCatWhisprer: Ariana Grande is what happens if you feed a Bratz doll after midnight.
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@sickipediabot: I'll be honest, the only time I'd ever want to be 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' would be if I was chasing them With an axe.
@KoKeniSasquatch: Day 8 of quitting smoking: I have 376 gallons of blood to donate. Various types. None is mine.
@TheLOLYBible: "But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt, and Lot was like 'wtf' " Genesis 19:26
@iwearaonesie: if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument