@yoyoha: ariana grande looks like she was designed in a lab by japanese perverts
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@TheToddWilliams: [Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force
@causticbob: 5 years ago today I asked a beautiful girl out on a date. Today at 3pm I asked that girl to marry me. She said no both times.
@marknorm: When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid.