@WritePlay: Ariel was a minor and couldn't sign a legally binding contract. You'd think the king of the ocean's lawyers could get that shit thrown out.
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@dreamthievin: I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial
@Beer4AGoodTime: I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, "Hi".
@brettryland: Redheaded guys know they can just dye their hair, right? They don't have to live like that.
@riscfuture: Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of “Smith” and “Baker,” we had “Frontenddeveloper” and “Socialmediaconsultant.”