@realslimswamy: Arm wrestling is for guys who like to hold hands with other guys while staring into their eyes.
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@turkeyheadmac: Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don't apply the brakes
@TheMichaelRock: [first date] me: so what do you do for a living? her: I study foreign languages me[trying to impress her] bone apple tea, moon cherry
@trentistweeting: ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut "you mean duct taped, right?" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*