@realslimswamy: Arm wrestling is for guys who like to hold hands with other guys while staring into their eyes.
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@JohnLyonTweets: I wish the Antiques Roadshow guy had just told me how much my swords were worth without getting all nosy about where the blood came from.
@iinkedZombie: Me: You have to be nice or Santa won't deliver any toys this year. 5: Me: 5: My brother lets me play with his.
@mimicz: Guy: I don't deserve you. Girl: Awwwww...you're so sweet... Guy: I don't mean that in a good way.
@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.