@RuffaloShuffle: Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to "Hey Arnold"
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@jferg1616: Best Buy: What's your street name? Me: FUNK MASTER FERG bia bia! Best Buy: No, the name of your street.
@Thee1_4U: I only drink to forget that my 4 year old daughter has an iPad Touch and I have to ask for her help when it's my turn to play on it.
@matt___nelson: [at restaurant trying not to let anyone know I'm a koala] Waiter: "what can I get u?" "do u have any eucalyptus?" *restaurant goes quiet*
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: "Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a nice..Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"