@gfoster18: Around 70% of the earth is made up of water, and the other 30% is filled with news articles about George Zimmerman
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@DaddyJew: Daddy can u get me a drink? "No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink" Fine *goes to fridge "While you're there can you grab me a beer?"
@pleatedjeans: Let the bodies hit the floor? Ok but first let me put down some plastic this is new carpet I don't want to ruin it my mom will be pissed
@krishna_van: Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'.