@2p2TrollCat: Arrived home super drunk. Put the turkey in the oven and went up and banged my wife. Woke up next to the turkey. Afraid to check the oven.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_davidlucas_: The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently.
@thatcarlygirl: What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog