@2p2TrollCat: Arrived home super drunk. Put the turkey in the oven and went up and banged my wife. Woke up next to the turkey. Afraid to check the oven.
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@brynnester: [Confession] Me: I wish Jim was alive. He was my best friend Priest: Jim is alive. I saw him yesterday Me: Yeah I was getting to that part
@sam_kriss: in marvel's DEFENDERS, our heroes must combine their powers - being good at punching, punching people well, having strong punches, good punc
@squirrel74wkgn: (Age 22) *chugs bottle of water* Let's shoot some more hoops! (Age 42) *chugs bottle of water* I gotta pee.