@rolldiggity: Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE!
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@steveolivas: Me: Would you remarry if I died? Wife: Yes. Me: What?!? Would you at least WAIT awhile? Wife: Depends. Are you dead because I killed you?
@MomOnFire: Granny, pay attention and don't panic. I need you to think hard and tell me how many brownies you ate out of the blue pan.
@Manda_like_wine: My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, "I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."
@SufficientCharm: Alfijnbahkfnbsbbakrbbjdnebzk hzueonyvag macarena yrvixndvwhkga ndhwkdbcbe hayvektoubabrjnahor HEYYYY MACARENA