@_alexwray: Artificial intelligence is gonna be so pissed when it finds out about depression
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@protolalia: I'm 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
@TheMichaelRock: Today my boss will learn that I am nowhere near mature enough to be left alone with a label maker.
@WarningPuzzle: *walks into bar with camera* Me: Can I take a shot of this glass? Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer