@wickedimproper: ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's.
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@secondofhername: What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.
@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home
@novicefather: You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.