@wickedimproper: ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's.
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@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me
@LoveNLunchmeat: Diet, Day 14: I hate everyone. My children are scared of me & I've repelled everyone else. But I'm starting to really like pears.
@ThePocketJustin: Soon a hero will rise. Then he will fall again. Then he will rise and also fall. Wait. The hero is on a trampoline.