@wickedimproper: ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's.
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@codyspencer0: The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Wanna go out? Her: You're not Black Me: I'm Jewish. We've been persecuted more than them. Her: ... Me: That's not why you like them?
@truegritrumble: ME: *using a ouija board* Are there any spirits here? OUIJA BOARD: No. ME: I don’t believe you. OUIJA BOARD: That seems like a you problem.
@pahtch: all these ghosts using slowed down nursery rhymes to haunt people like jesus christ for once i wish some dead person would choose gasolina by daddy yankee i mean youre already dead. bend the rules. pick a bop.