@offbeatoliv: As a baby I took my son Caden to the park. Other kids there were Aiden Jayden Brayden & Ben. The parents that named Ben should get an award.
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@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Man, it was cold last night! Me: I had my heat on. CW: I meant outside. Me: I don't live outside. CW...
@POOPSCRUFFIN4U: I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top
@IncrediblyRich: All you people who chose "The Real" or "Official" before your Twitter handle really thought ahead of the game there. Well done, guys.
@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.