@Tups13: As a cat burglar most of my late night break-ins are actually well orchestrated attempts to pet other peoples animals.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: Her: Let's go see 50 Shades of Grey Me: Tonight? Her: Yes [After the movie] Her: OMG that was so hot! Me: Mom, please just stop talking
@Carbosly: As a kid, I didn't want to get caught misbehaving by my parents. Now I'm a parent. And I don`t want to get caught by my kids.
@Reverend_Scott: *bark* "What's that Lassie?" *bark bark* "Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?" *bark* "Ooh, dinnertime."
@buhsbaby_baby: If you think my laughter is infectious, you should try having unprotected sex with me.